By Mickey Gohl
I live with some form of major depressive disorder. Sometimes that has cost me a great deal. Depression steals the things that those who suffer from it love most. There was a time when I was so inspired to post content here, and I had so many ideas! I’d had so much fun creating my mascot Jack Rattingtons photo for the logo. It was such a blast to incorporate an old passion with a new skill. I love dark, goth, macabre things like skeletons. It was fun to get to play with my computer’s capability to manipulate them too!
Then life happened, or life for me as it were….happened. I became far less interested in activities I previously enjoyed. I was functioning to a point, but at the bare minimum to get by. I’d had plans for many things, but they fell by the wayside like this site. I no longer had an interest in engaging with my animals or any of the people in my life too. I was in many ways doing the bare minimum just to get through the day.
I’m not a mental health professional, and I probably have more questions than answers, but I’ve discovered some things that help me with this. My depression is usually cyclical, but sometimes it can sneak up on me. When I’m going through it, the spiral can last years. Before the new cycle starts, I have some physical and emotional energy. During this time, I’ve learned to start doing things that are healthy for me that I also enjoy. Things that will help fend off the depression when I’m in the thick of it…like now. Some of those are eating healthy, exercising, or working on some form of art. The example below is a work in progress zombie.
It’s hard, but this is what’s called pushing back, and I must do this to survive. When I was in a good period in 2020, I started eating more vegetables for health reasons. That led to me eating far less meat; then eliminating it altogether. For several reasons, this helped me have more energy. I started losing weight and felt much better physically. Because I started this habit when I was doing well, it was much easier to continue it when my depression reared its ugly head again. What I have learned by doing this is that for me my depression is far more manageable now. I still have it, it will always be severe, but I’m learning to live with it much easier and have a stronger will to not die from it.